93 Funny Cat Quotes That Are Purr-fectly Hilarious!

Have you ever woken up to a cat perched regally on your head, or witnessed a perfectly executed leap that ends with them face-planting into the curtains? Cats are masters of mischief and possess an undeniable charm that often translates into hilarious moments. From their sassy attitudes to their clumsy antics, these furry comedians provide endless entertainment.

But have you ever stopped to think about the wisdom hidden behind their meows and purrs? Funny cat quotes capture the essence of feline life, offering a glimpse into their unique perspective on the world. So, buckle up and prepare to unleash your inner chuckle, as we delve into the world of funny cat quotes that will leave you grinning from ear to ear.

Funny Cat Quotes

1. “Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.” – Garrison Keillor
2. “As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.” – Ellen Perry Berkeley
3. “Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.” – Joseph Wood Krutch
4. “A cat has absolute emotional honesty: human beings, for one reason or another, may hide their feelings, but a cat does not.” – Ernest Hemingway
5. “There are few things in life more heartwarming than to be welcomed by a cat.” – Tay Hohoff
6. “I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.” – Hippolyte Taine
7. “Cats are inquisitive, but hate to admit it.” – Mason Cooley
8. “Cats are like potato chips – you can’t have just one.” – Unknown
9. “In ancient times, cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.” – Terry Pratchett
10. “A cat will do what it wants when it wants, and there’s not a thing you can do about it.” – Frank Perkins
11. “The phrase ‘domestic cat’ is an oxymoron.” – George F. Will
12. “I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.” – Unknown
13. “Cats know how to obtain food without labor, shelter without confinement, and love without penalties.” – Walter Lionel George
14. “Cats are kindly masters, just so long as you remember your place.” – Paul Gray
15. “There is no such thing as ‘just a cat’.” – Robert A. Heinlein
16. “I’m not sure why I like cats so much. I mean, they’re really cute obviously. They are both wild and domestic at the same time.” – Michael Showalter
17. “Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.” – Jeff Valdez
18. “The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer.” – Paula Poundstone
19. “I have lived with several Zen masters—all of them cats.” – Eckhart Tolle
20. “Cats are the ultimate narcissists. You can tell this by all the time they spend on personal grooming.” – James Gorman
21. “The cat does not offer services. The cat offers itself.” – William S. Burroughs
22. “Cats are like music. It’s foolish to try to explain their worth to those who don’t appreciate them.” – Unknown
23. “I used to love dogs until I discovered cats.” – Nafisa Joseph
24. “Cats are a mysterious kind of folk.” – Sir Walter Scott
25. “No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat, and no amount of masking tape can ever totally remove his fur from your couch.” – Leo Dworken
26. “A cat can purr its way out of anything.” – Donna McCrohan
27. “I have found it is surprisingly difficult to remain sad when a cat is doing its level best to sandpaper one’s cheeks.” – R.L. LaFevers
28. “Cats are magical; the more you pet them, the longer you both live.” – Unknown
29. “You cannot look at a sleeping cat and feel tense.” – Jane Pauley
30. “Cats will outsmart dogs every time.” – John Grogan
31. “Cats choose us; we don’t own them.” – Kristin Cast
32. “You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats.” – Colonial American Proverb
33. “Cats tell me without effort all that there is to know.” – Charles Bukowski
34. “Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.” – Joseph Wood Krutch
35. “There’s no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat.” – Wesley Bates
36. “Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well.” – Missy Dizick
37. “Cats seem to have an intuitive grasp of people.” – Carol Greer
38. “The cat is the only animal without visible means of support who still manages to find a living in the city.” – Carl van Vechten
39. “Cats are absolute individuals, with their own ideas about everything, including the people they own.” – John Dingman
40. “Cats, like men, are flatterers.” – Walter Savage Landor
41. “You can’t own a cat. The best you can do is be partners.” – Sir Harry Swanson
42. “A cat is an example of sophistication minus civilization.” – Unknown
43. “Cats will amusingly tolerate humans only until someone comes up with a tin opener that can be operated with a paw.” – Terry Pratchett
44. “The cat could very well be man’s best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.” – Doug Larson
45. “The mathematical probability of a common cat doing exactly as it pleases is the one scientific absolute in the world.” – Lynn M. Osband
46. “Cats have it all: admiration, an endless sleep, and company only when they want it.” – Rod McKuen
47. “A cat’s got her own opinion of human beings. She don’t say much, but you can tell enough to make you uncomfortable.” – Robert A. Heinlein
48. “Cats are a litmus paper for human beings. Somebody who doesn’t like cats was probably born to be a dog.” – Mercedes McCambridge
49. “Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you.” – Mary Bly
50. “If cats could talk, they wouldn’t get anything to eat.” – Jessi Lane Adams
51. “Cats are the insource for creativity. They inspire by developing an attitude of incredible entitlement!” – Carolyn Kenion
52. “Cats are able to operate at great cosmic levels of consciousness, but they keep pretty mundane when it comes to houseplants.” – Dr. Peter Vietzen
53. “One cat just leads to another.” – Ernest Hemingway
54. “Cats aren’t clean, they’re just well-disguised public hair removers.” – Jeff Rovin
55. “Cats possess so great a self-respect that they never purr except in solitude, and when there is no one to incommode by their purrings.” – Jules Champfleury
56. “The cat has complete emotional honesty – an ability to experience insecurity or anger, and to absorb human hostility without becoming hostile herself.” – Barbara Woodhouse
57. “Cats have a scrupulous regard for democracy in leaving equal awfulness on any small rug that is dropped on the floor.” – R.H. Blyth
58. “If a cat spoke, it would say things like ‘Hey, I don’t see the problem here’.” – Roy Blount Jr.
59. “Cats have a slip of wildness still about them.” – John Webster
60. “Cats are the world’s most prolific hunters of household pests, but unfortunately they play with their prey rather than pock it.” – Walter B. Huber
61. “Cats can be cooperative when something favors them.” – Carrie P. Freeman
62. “There is something about the presence of a cat… that seems to take the bite out of being alone.” – Louis J. Camuti
63. “Cats come closest to human life for that acrimonious, distrustful, double-dealing, unreliable leading that mankind claims as his prerogative.” – Agnes Repplier
64. “Cats cannot be false to any great extent, even if they would.” – W.R. Frenstone
65. “There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.” – Unknown
66. “Cats are like staining. You don’t get rid of them because they have made themselves the object of cult-like devotion.” – Don Murray
67. “As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind.” – Cleveland Amory
68. “Cats are endowed with a great deal of perseverance and strength of character – the least cat staring at you gives you the impression of a superior mind looking out of wise eyes.” – Carl Van Vechten
69. “If cats could write history, their history would be mostly about cats.” – Eugen Weber
70. “Cats always take just a bit too long to do what you want them to do when you’re in a hurry.” – Stephenie Feltenstein
71. “Cats regard people as warmblooded furniture.” – Robert A. Heinlein
72. “Cats are just very long-lived fur babies.” – Jarod Kintz
73. “A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution.” – Hazel Nicholson
74. “Cats have an infuriating habit of becoming more likable to their owners after their demise.” – P.J. O’Rourke
75. “Cats have it tough, leading a life of self-indulgence, Lions have it tougher, leading a life of roaring and eating dumb animals.” – Kevin Danaher
76. “A cat is a lion in a jungle of small bushes.” – Indian Proverb
77. “Cats are entitled to long naps, especially when you think they should be awake.” – Jim Willis
78. “Cats pick up on your human poor skills of operating the can opener and get food quicker than they should.” – Phyllis Bacon
79. “There are no ordinary cats.” – Colette
80. “Cats are born naturally inscrutable, incarnate humorists who are themselves the joke.” – Agnes Repplier
81. “Cats radiate a natural, Zen-like calmness, which is why they are adopted as therapy pets.” – Allen Klein
82. “Cats are highly eccentric, and their moodiness is part of their charm.” – Barbara Woodhouse
83. “There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.” – Albert Schweitzer
84. “Cats’ inability to resist pleasure is what gets them in trouble.” – Bruce Di Marsico
85. “Cats are profound cynics who allow themselves to become domesticated, only to better mock the follies of mankind.” – Algernon Blackwood
86. “Cats are cats, and they have to do what cats do to survive in the world.” – David Michie
87. “If cats could talk, they wouldn’t.” – Nan Porter
88. “Cats prove to us, if we go about it peaceably, that we can domesticate almost any species.” – W.H. Rengey
89. “Cats have a tendency to make everything feel like a feline environment.” – J.L. Woodruff
90. “Cats have curfews for their human friends too.” – Michelle Duvig
91. “If cats could talk, they wouldn’t.” – Nan Porter
92. “Cats are cuter and wiser than most humans, which is why so many of them don’t talk.” – Simone Elkeles
93. “Cats are sophisticated creatures who find humans a perpetual source of amusement.” – Sydney J. Bounds

Conclusion

Whether you’re a seasoned cat owner or simply appreciate a good laugh, these funny cat quotes offer a heartwarming reminder of the joy these furry companions bring to our lives. Their antics are a testament to their independent spirit and a source of endless amusement.

So, the next time your feline friend decides to defy gravity or engage in a one-sided battle with a feather toy, remember, there’s always a purrfectly funny quote waiting to capture the moment. Now, go forth and share these quotes with fellow cat lovers, or simply sit back and enjoy a chuckle (or a full-blown meow-lody of laughter) at the sheer brilliance of feline humor.